It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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