i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
