if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
