Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You need a sexual gate keeper
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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