Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
