Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think your dad took our porno
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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