If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did I show you my penis last night?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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