thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
