i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
