I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
