she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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