why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
