just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we're making bets on your personal life
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
