I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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