i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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