Kiss
Puke
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
