if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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