update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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