Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
