what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
