I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
