But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
