I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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