R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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