I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
