I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
