How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
