why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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