We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
