My friends, they love my intelligence
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
