i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
