shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
