were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I smell stomach acid.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
