We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
