Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
