Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
