What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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