You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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