I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
