my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
