Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
