His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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