All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
