I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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