What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
