I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
