4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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