You're completely useless in the revolution.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
