5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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