the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
