Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
