i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
