you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
