Duck Duck Cougar?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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