My liver just broke up with me...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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