i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
